I know I’ve written a couple of posts questioning my boyfriend’s sexual libido. As readers may now have guessed, I believe sex is an important part of a relationship. I’ve been thinking day and night on how we could improve our sex life, or at least make it pleasurable for him. But I believe I’ve finally hit a conclusion.
I’ve always had a gut feeling that my boyfriend had ED, but I didn’t want to put labels on it until I heard the word from him. The last thing he needed was his girlfriend questioning his manhood. Funny thing is, he thought he had told me already! So we nervously slipped into the conversation, and we talked about his abilities to get hard.
Although you hear plenty of stories from the people struggling with ED, I don’t think there is enough stories about the person on the other side; the receiver of the D.
Well, here’s my story.
I’ll first admit that sometimes, I get frustrated and self conscious. I can’t help but question if it’s me that can’t get him turned on. But I also realize that it’s not about me when it happens. In fact, the “is it me” idea is so selfish, that I immediately regret thinking it.
Can you imagine what he must be feeling when it happens? Nothing I think or do can even come close to what he’s going through.
But what he doesn’t understand is that I’m not bothered by it as much as he thinks. Yeah, I like sex. But sex isn’t the reason I’m going out with him. Let’s not forget that sex isn’t as good if it isn’t with him. If it doesn’t work at the time, it doesn’t work. There’s nothing we can do about it (unless he takes pills), and I’m okay with that. When it does work, we’ll take that opportunity and have fun, but it’s not the end of the world, just because he can’t seem to get hard.
I just need him to trust me, and stop thinking that his manliness is all in his dick. Yes, it’s called a manhood, but I’ve judged (most girls do) him for his personality and attitude, more than his reproductive organs. (Besides, he does have the organ.)
He tells me I’m beautiful, cooks dinner for me, picks me up especially if it gets late, comes to family dinners, converses with my friends, and supports any decisions I make about my future. (He also buys me ice cream! Best guy everrrrrrr)
He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever met, manlier than any guy that’s ever been in my life, and I just wish that my feelings for him speak louder than his dick’s actions.
I can’t stress enough that I just want him to be comfortable being with me, as I do when I’m with him. I’m here to support any decision he makes about his manhood, and I’ll respect it. In fact, there’s nothing embarrassing about ED. It’s not a choice, and I understand that. So shouldn’t we go through this together? Is our relationship still not strong enough for him to rely on me?
I honestly couldn’t care what the “normal” thing to do in this situation is; I just want to be a comfort for him, no matter the outcome.
Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.
-Voltaire
The Blunt Fairytale 