I thought I’d side track for this post to talk about our situation, and to get down to the nitty gritty. My current boyfriend and I are from different backgrounds. We were both raised in the same country, but I’m from a bigger city than he is, and furthermore, I was born in a different country.
Where I live, there are a lot of interracial coupling, and Asians with Caucasians aren’t so rare. But none of them are quite like us, since most Asians are fresh-off-the-boats. (Which is another post in itself). I don’t know how they communicate, as I believe communication is key to our relationship.
I sometimes have sudden realizations that our backgrounds are so different. We were raised with different cultures, and so different values may ensue, but so far, we have worked around them. Especially when it comes to my boyfriend, he has rarely any Asian friends, let alone, gone out with one of them. So at times, the things I do, or the things I say are new to him. And yes, sometimes, we don’t see eye to eye because of these differences. Some of these include: family, food, and friends.
My family has a traditional Asian background. We moved when I was very little, so i don’t remember much of my home-country, but since my parents are Asian, I have been brought up with both the Western culture and the Asian culture. I, personally, struggled with identity when growing up, so I can only imagine what it’s like going out with someone like me.
When we first started dating I think my boyfriend was a little worried about what my culture may bring into the relationship. But he’s a truly great man, and he tried for me. We were both vocal about expressing our feelings when it came to culture values. But I know it’s not just communication that makes us work. I also know that I’m privileged when it comes to him. He tries to understand, and is really open to any new culture value I throw at him.
Funny story. After a few months of making it “official”, I asked him what kind of girl he was looking for on the dating website. Because we have a “truth only” policy, he told me the complete truth, and told me that he liked girls who were athletic, short haired and BLONDES. (I am none of those)
I wasn’t even upset when he told me, because I also have a “type” I usually fall for, and he was definitely not one of them. (I like my guys with dark hair and with beards….)
But his profile made me want to get to know him, and we had similar likes, which was enough for me to write him a “hello” message.
I don’t think he ever saw himself dating an Asian girl. But I’m glad he took that leap. I still get nervous. Like when I introduce him to new Asian foods. What if he doesn’t like it? But he’s a good sport, and he’ll try any food….. so he can decide if he likes the food or not himself.
The Blunt Fairytale 